Feng Shui, Personal Responsibility & Change

Those two dirty words: "Personal responsibility"

In this post I share two consultations that reflect our need to deflect our responsibility and blame others for our situation.

None of us are immune to this. It happens to us all at one time or another.

Sharing these stories I hope that I may inspire you to consider how you may be in a similar situation.

Client 1: "I don't have any time to learn things that interest me." I ask, "What do you do with your time?" She says, "Well, I read up on all the challenges with my severe health condition."

Client 2: "My wife doesn't do anything around the house. She works and keeps all of her money. She has her own life and does what she wants."

I've encountered several people in this last week with this similar theme and I am taking notice. I realized that perhaps I need to write about it. Perhaps this post will help someone see what they are doing...more so, what they aren't doing.

I see it all the time...people who are unhappy. I don't mean occasionally unhappy. I mean the type of debilitating unhappiness that leads to major stress and illness.

They are unhappy with a relationship or with a job. They are unhappy with their home environment and their finances. Or all of the above!

But yet, they do nothing to change.

Perhaps they don't know how?

They seem to think that feng shui will make things all right. They want me to change it for them overnight.

But if they aren't willing to change, or allow room for change, no amount of feng shui will help.

Feng shui is not magic, but it can be magic if we allow it to impact our conditioned thought patterns. (More on that for another post).

I am happy. I am genuinely a happy person...most of the time.

Not everything in my life is easy, nor full of joy. However, I still have a general, overall, positive mood.

But it wasn't always that way...

Although I am mostly a happy person, I spent a good part of my life not seeing how my energy impacted everything in my life! In fact, I didn't really understand what energy was. It took several years of reading self-help books and attending workshops; and then one day, it finally clicked....

The words of Wayne Dyer finally penetrated that thick part of my skull:

When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change. 

I say this with absolute certainty. What happened in our past is the past. It's how we view the past that sets our present and future reality. 

And this is where I lose most people. (I know...I was there, too.)

Said another way:

"It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters." - Epictetus, Greek philosopher

When you think of someone in your life that is challenging with this old, victimization mindset, you are sending out unseen vibes that are negative. How will that person react to you? What do you think?

Now, if you intentionally think of something good about that person (however minor), you send out completely different vibes. And then watch how they respond to you. Keep doing this over the course of time and things can magically transform!

I know. I've experienced it.

Back to my two clients above...

Client 1 is very ill and she acknowledges that she has come to this point after decades of neglect and not accepting personal emotional responsibility. She talks about not having time for happy pursuits, yet she has all day to read scary outcomes of her illness on the internet. She is very wise and truly gets why things are as they are. But uses her free will to continue on the path of "unchange." She has asks me to come twice a year to clear her space of negativity. (Big sigh!) I accept my role as to what I can do for her and continue to gently nudge her to find some inspiration (and joy!) in her life.

Client 2's thoughts and behavior may contributed to his wife's mindset.  He may have neglected his personal responsibility for his role in their relationship. He prefers (does he really?) to play the role of victim. Energy has a sneaky way of impacting everyone around us without being consciously aware of it. I guess it is true that we are creatures of habit. We often choose the known to the unknown.

When I suggested an environmental change which is currently contributing to his feeling of powerlessness, he balked that she wouldn't like that change. (Sigh!) But after some time, and with his own free will, he decided to take my advice. Well now, buckle up because things are really going to change!

Are you unhappy? Do you feel like a victim of circumstances?

When people are at their unhappiest it is because they feel a lack of control in their lives. They feel a lack of freedom to do what they want. They have plenty of reasons why they cannot follow their bliss. Many do not even know what their "bliss" is! (Another post on that to come).

If this is you, I hope that I have nudged you forward, even a little, to understanding how your personal energy impacts everything and everyone in your life. 

Please let me know if I did that.

And let me know if I have the honor of helping you through this process of change to become happier in your life with a Luminous Spaces Feng Shui Consultation or Coaching sessions.