Holding Space

I say “hi” to deer that I notice among the tall grasses. It notices me first, and froze.

I walk through these trails.

I’m confused.

Time feels like it’s standing still, yet I know the calendar keeps clicking off another day. And I don’t know where I am. I don’t know where I’m going.

I feel a heavy weight of burden to figure it all out…”What do I need to do to continue following my life purpose, to follow my path?”

Even though I’ve come this far, I still feel that, perhaps, something is missing… or there’s something that I haven’t figured out. I have to crack the code in order to fulfill my true purpose. to know what the next step is.

I scour my dreams for themes. I am observant of oddities – or synchronicities – throughout my day. My encounters with nature. Encounters with others. Encounters with symbols.

And I spend time in meditation and reflection on a daily basis.

Yes, why do I feel that there is a message, plain as day, that I’m not understanding? Is spirit guiding me yet I don’t hear its message?

And it’s at this point as I’m walking on the trail that the thought dawns on me: this is when I need to hold space.

This is what the master teachers tell us to do. “Hold space.”

And there’s something deeply resonating with those words. I know they are truth.

But I guess I’ve always had a question about, well, how do I actually do that, energetically? I’m not holding time in my hands. I’m not holding space in my hands, or am I?

I look at my hands. They are empty in front of me.

Is that what it means to hold space?

It’s at this moment that I see the fawn, frozen, on the right side of the trai. She’s hoping that she’s well hidden, looking at me. She is still. Is she holding space?

I stop in my tracks and say hi. I think to myself, you are my power animal. You are my spirit animal. And you came to me at this moment. You appeared at this moment, as a synchronicity, as I am pondering space. What wisdom do you have for me?

The fawn senses that I’m a friend yet she doesn’t want to linger any longer. So she bolts out ahead of me and crosses the trail, and her mother follows. I notice their direction…right to left. Going from the crude, physical to the intuitive, intangible state.

And I am so grateful for their presence on this bright sunshiny day. Valentine’s Day.

Holding space, and allowing what is to flow into my life. Is what this time requires?

I have to remember this. To enjoy the quiet, the stillness, the “stagnation.” It’s the yin to the yang.

And the sudden, or shall I say, soft realization that hits me like a velvet fist: I don’t have to do anything.

The more I try to control, and figure things out, the more resistance builds. Just step in to the flow and let my body my mind and spirit be taken down the stream.

Take the flow with open eyes (mindfulness) and an open heart (love).

Listen to what arises, what presents itself, to new encounters, and the rustling of the wind in the tall grasses.